24 weeks

So this is it. My final exam of the year starts in 45 minutes and then I'll have 3 hours to make all the work I've done this year count. I'll admit I haven't been the most diligent student but this year has taken a lot out of me, by far the hardest thing I've ever had to do. As for the next few hours, well the question guessing is over, just a few more minutes cramming (what I hope will be) useful facts then the same procedure, finding my seat, listening to the examiner's spiel, writing my candidate number on each cover sheet, and hopefully managing to do 3 hours of maths.

I've done four already, two went well, two didn't, but I could have predicted that. As a result this final exam may decide whether my results are a success or a failure. So many of life's decisions are decided by the finest of margins, right now I have 180 minutes to prove that 24 weeks of my life spent here was worthwhile.

Wish me luck.

Time Wasting

Spent the last hour and a quarter reading through my old blogs instead of revising materials. Made me realise that many, many things never change. I think it can be considered by now that Maura and I are officially not talking. I have a date planned with someone who is in the other side of the country for 44 weeks a year so could be a while waiting for that one.

Term's being term, plenty of work that I never seem to want to do, plenty of ambition but still no real drive. Made my first revision timetable of the year today, one hour in and I'm already behind. My to do list is growing longer and longer, and the amount of time to my exams is decreasing rapidly.

It was amusing reading through my old posts, comments off the same two people, and constant apologies to my non-existant readers. It's nice having the record of what I did though, I can see why people keep diaries, even if I am the only person who will ever read it. I wonder what future me would want to know about the present moment. The girl who I've got a date with is called Molly by the way, if you (future me) are still with her you've done well my lad.

Of the things that never change:

Not doing enough revision

Waking up late

Being late for class/lectures

Skipping too many classes/lectures

Feeling down for no real reason occasionally

Feeling happy for no particular reason occasionally

Wanting to have a girlfriend, except when I have one

Spending my evenings flicking through random websites (what did people do with their time before the internet?)

That's a good enough list for now.

Things that do change:

I actually need to do some work right now.

Back in the bubble

So it's back to Cambridge once again, for the dullest term of the year. I'm prepared this time round though so it can't really go any worse than I'm expecting it to. I think my expectations were too high last term, after all it is life in Cambridge, work dominates no matter who you are (possibly excluding the Art Historians who play rugby and have time to go out 5 times a week). But hopefully occasional pub trips and two series of the West Wing will make it bearable. The main thing is just getting down to work I guess, hence the procrastinating on here when I could be doing any number of useful things.

The real upside to this term is how much I enjoyed the Easter holidays and am looking forward to summer. My lack of work is nothing terrible as I'm in the same boat as many others, it's just a case of really getting into it between now and exams. Curiously my best mate from across the hall hasn't reappeared, wondering what's happened to them, if he's not back by Monday I'll start to get seriously worried.

In the meantime I have no interesting observations on life or anything else to make this blog worth reading so it really just me rambling to myself. If anyone else stumbles across it, sorry for wasting your time and hope the next one you find is more exciting.

Tchau for now.

Once more around the block

It seems all the interesting things in life happen late at night, I can't remember the last time something fascinating at noon. It just seems that while the sun is no longer in the sky, deep conversations begin to happen and people just let their guard down a bit. I've had so many good chats on the way back from something that finished quite late and tonight was another one of those. A 5-minute walk home that ended lasting around an hour, and the discovery of a friend I'd almost forgotten I could count on. It's been a nice evening.

There's still a million things flying around my head, many the result of a confrontational conversation about the resurrection of Jesus Christ, and many more about a girl I like, which is of course the much more complicated and pressing issue.

I love the fact that there are so many blogs out there that I can rely on mine to remain hidden and hope that everyone I told about it has forgotten. I guess in a way I want my friends to know the things I write but I don't want to tell them then, this is a wonderfully unique way of getting my thoughts out into the world without actually having to say them out loud to anybody.

I think I've resolved my view on God, that just leaves understanding girls to deal with. I manage that as well I might just go down as the cleverest guy in history: disproved God and broke down the invisible language barrier between men and women. I get thinking and I might just manage both in the same night, wish me luck.

It really doesn't take much...

Another term gone, this time it went by in a flash.

I can't pick much out of it for highlights, I got dumped (well sort of), dropped for the biggest hockey game of the year, failed to secure a good set of flatmates for next year, and then told off by my ex-best friend. If I did pick any highlights they would all lie on the same weekend, which wasn't spent in Cambridge. I was at the Newcastle game for the amazing 4-4 tie with Arsenal, had a great night out with my sister and Kirsty, followed by a fun night relaxing with Kirsty and her friend at uni, Saffron, who's kind of fun.

It was a big relief to finally reach the holidays and although my originally good work ethic has dropped off somewhat there is still plenty of time for that to change, also just being able to relax around people I've known for years and who I don't really care what judgements they make of me is nice.

And to be honest things were starting to look up, a nice pair of pub trips on Friday and Saturday night, another completion of Mass Effect, and one series of West Wing down, even a good check-up at the dentist's. I was finally starting to feel good about myself, then, I discover my ex-girlfriends blog through a couple of links that should have died out months ago, and suddenly I'm back on my ass.

One and a half years on

So AS levels went well, A2s did as well. I went to Brazil for 10 weeks, broke up with my girlfriend of 15 months before I went, and most importantly I got into Cambridge University, the best university in the world, according to some sources.

The first term went well enough, few things I've promised to do differently, but on the whole not too bad. The trouble is I have mock exams in 2 days. Now over the last 2 years there's been one exam out of 14 that I got less than 90% on, if I get 70% on this one I'm doing brilliantly, anything over 50% and I'll be happy. It's very strange having to change mindset like that and I know that I'm going to feel like I've done really badly no matter how well I do so just staying positive for the later exams could be interesting.

Well better make the most of these 2 days, hard work here I come. Here's to the next year and a half, cheers.

Day one

I had my final ever biology exam today. :D. I just wish I felt like that. In fact this evening feels a bit dead, despite everything: the wonderful weather we're having; the swim I went for this evening; the promise that soon exams will be over. It doesn't feel like it should. Maybe it's because I found the exam more difficult than I expected, or my girlfriend's blowing me off to play computer games this weekend, who knows.

Anyway as promised here is the beginning of the story of my great adventure, day one of my ride.

So I set off up the hill after the others. Most of them had left about 5 minutes before, with only John waiting for me to get my helmet, gloves and, of course, shades on. I managed to beat John up the first hill, which would have felt impressive if he wasn't in his fifties. I powered on nevertheless and caught up with a couple of the others at the next stop point, 5 miles down the road. There I pulled over for a drink as John went straight past, enjoying the downhill that the minibus had decided to stop halfway down, I wish they'd stopped at the top of hills more often.

Only David, the vicar from St Cleopas, the church I was helping raise money for, was with me when I left the first stop. He was struggling though, after a hard morning's ride that I missed, and told me to go on ahead to make sure I kept up with the others as he suspected he would be ending the day with a ride in the minibus. I wasn't too keen on the idea but didn't want to be left behind or hold the others up on the first day so pressed on. David kept up for a while but by the next stop was a few minutes behind me.

At the next stop I caught Gary and John as they were recovering from the huge hill we'd just been over. Only Tom remained out of my sight now, somewhere miles down the road. Pulling back onto the road I was just behind Gary but decided to overtake him at the top of yet another hill and raced down ahead in search of Tom.

I was feeling pretty good at this stage, my legs were hurting with the effort but nothing I hadn't expected and my fears of not being able to keep pace had been dispached, even if I did wonder if I could keep it up after my advantage of being 30 miles fresher wore off.

Over the next few hills the road was clear ahead of me, I never lost sight of Gary and John behind me for more than 30 seconds after each peak, but I kept a good distance and pace up. It must have been another 5 or so miles down the road before I first caught sight of Tom's fluorescent jersey just disappearing over yet another hill crest. I kept hammering on and managed to keep about a minute and a half behind him, which is actually quite a long distance on a bike, until he stopped to make sure we all went the right direction.

As you can probably tell up to this point I'd been going for the competitive angle to keep myself going, it was quite entertaining and kept my mind occupied, which is kind of necessary when all your body is doing is pushing your feet round in circles. I really don't know why I enjoy cycling so much thinking about it, I guess it's not so much about what you're doing but more what's around you that makes it what it is. Without the air rushing past, and the scenery, I guess it'd be actually quite boring. No wonder I don't like exercise bikes.

Anyway, enough abstract ranting, after Tom stopped to point us in the right direction we stuck together, minus David who was being accompanied by the minibus. So my competitive streak had to subside and I settled down into a rhythm with the others. Soon the hills flattened out as well as we headed into the Eden valley. That's not some crazy metaphor for how beautiful it was or anything, it was just the valley of the River Eden. We stopped for a while and stood on one of the few remaining parts of Hadrian's wall. John lay down which was a mistake. It took him 5 minutes to get up again.

We were waiting for the minubus but it was still a few miles back encouraging David along so we headed down to the river and across to the next town. It sounds a lot easier than it was. Hadrian's wall is quite high in parts and the River Eden is pretty low so heading down the hill was great fun, except for the blind corners at 30 odd miles an hour which were an ickle bit scary, but the hill on the other side was the biggest and steepest we'd had all day. We made it though, eventually, and stopped in the centre of Brampton for the bus to arrive.

It had been a beautiful afternoon but the clouds were starting to gather as the minibus pulled up, informing us that David was still more than 5 miles behind us and we should just go on and supplying us with sandwiches and drinks. We carried on down towards the church we were staying at, just a few miles down the A69, but of course there was time for one last detour, up a hill. For the rest of the weekend we would spend quite a lot of time finding ways around the A roads but this was the first one we'd come across today. We decided to head up through the village of Hayton so that we weren't holding up the lorries.

We reached a turning for Hayton quite quickly, only a mile down the road, unfortunately it was one to early and we took it anyway. It took us up over another hill and down into Hayton. We had only been 2 miles away from the end of the days ride, this pushed it up to 4 or 5 but we reached it eventually, by which time I just wanted to collapse.

We unloaded the minibus and David turned up about 20 minutes later, having made some serious ground up while we were stopped in Brampton. The minibus had gone looking for him, but had gone the wrong way and returned 10 minutes after his arrival. We put the lasagne that we had been given for tea in the oven then the curate of the church we were staying in turned up and offered us showers at his place. These were galdly accepted and an hour later after all 5 cyclists and the 2 drivers had had a shower we returned to a beautifully cooked lasange with boiled potatoes and garlic bread.

After tea we unpacked our blow-up beds of various sizes: from John's huge double mattress that was about 2 foot high and about 6 foot wide to Tom's blow up roll matt that was about an inch deep, then pumped them up using Graham's (one of the drivers) electric pump, well Tom blew his up. We then had a worryingly competitive game of Uno, Tom got really into it, and I taught the oldies what decent music sounded like before we all curled up into our beds around half past ten. That was the quickest I've fallen asleep in years, despite Graham's snoring.